The worst part of being tired all the time is that everything seems so dull and you just can’t be motivated to do anything and you might want to write or think or whatever and all that comes out is or whatever or whatever or whatever. YEAH I’M PISSED OFF and yeah no one cares and yeah they shouldn’t. But all I want to do is lay down and not think and be distracted by a video game for a while until it’s time to sleep and I will not get enough sleep. I will never get enough sleep. I don’t want to talk. I don’t want to think to talk. I want all my needs taken care of for me. I want to go in a corner and turn off everything. I want my tenseness (my whole body is a knot) to go away and I would love it if I didn’t have to explicitly define everything I wanted. I’m being a child. I want to be a child. I want to come home to a snack and some juice because mom knows exactly what you want and can give it to you without asking because she knows you better than you do and takes care of you and is so glad to see you satisfied and happy.
Too bad this never actually happened in my life. And it’s too late to ever happen now.